Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
