i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
