Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
