Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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