We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
