Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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