I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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