yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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