so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
