The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
