next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
