i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
