Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am naked and annoyed.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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