so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
