when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
