the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
