i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
