when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
