HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I need water and some morals
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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