the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I need to sanitize my soul.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
