When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
