cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
