I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
