Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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