your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
