If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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