God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
