some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
