I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
