Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My underwear smells like fireworks.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
