we're chasing vodka with high fives
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
