There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
