Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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