I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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