How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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