? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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