watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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