barbara walters just said penis...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
