please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
