CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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