had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
