I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She bit a glass in half.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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