I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
