Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
