Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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