So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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