The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
