After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
