I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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