I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
