normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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