Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
